On Embracing Negative Emotions

We all enjoy and seek out positive emotions such as love, joy, and often adrenaline, but negative emotions such as grief and loss are also essential fabrics of life. In fact, psychologists have found that feelings such as sadness and even depression can bring cognitive benefits, such as improving our focus and helping us learn from mistakes. “Failure, via the resulting negative emotions, can help lead to later success.” This year has brought unprecedented grief, stress and frustration into all of our lives. As much as we want to be rid of these negative emotions, learning to embrace them may just make us more resilient and prepared for the future. The Atlantic.

On How to Engage and Persuade

Each of us engage in negotiations everyday, from negotiating our salaries to resolving issues with friends, roommates, and romantic partners. This article highlights two specific skills when it comes to negotiation: mirroring and labelling. Mirroring is the act of repeating parts of the other person’s statement in order to reduce tension and make the other feel like you are listening to them. Labelling is a verbal acknowledgement of the other person’s feelings or positions, in a way that neutralizes negative emotions or reinforces positive ones. Positive negotiations result from building relationships based on trust. Give this a read and practice mirroring or labelling in your next conversation. Inc.

On Rituals, Relationships, and Restrictions

Regularly, we ask or are asked the question, “Where are you from?” For some, this question is easy to answer and doesn’t elicit any followup questions. But for others, the question can often be followed by statements such as, “Oh, I meant where are you really from?” or “Really? But you speak English so well!” For people of color, people with immigrant families, and people who are adopted, their birthplace may not accurately represent their lived experiences. In her TED Talk, writer Taiye Selasi suggests that we should learn to replace the question “Where are you from?” with “Where are you a local?” Our experiences, more than our birthplace, make up our identity. Selasi says, “We’re local where we carry out our rituals and relationships, but how we experience our locality depends in part on our restrictions.” Give this talk a watch and think about how your rituals, relationships, and restrictions shape who you are.  Facebook link here. Full TED Talk here.